With "Different" On The Stereo

6.30 PM

Here it goes....

"Don't hide baby, let them see your true colors. Don't mind the camera, let them see your black heart tonight. Don't hide, baby, show them just how deep it goes. Don't mind the cameras, let them see your black heart, baby!" - taken from "Different" by Pendulum on "In Silico"

The playlist to charm and sprout a broken mind and soul, In Silico, performed by one of Aussie's sensation that is well reputed as notoriously famous with its drum & bass, fast paced, electronic rock synth and amusing yet unexplainable talent with live performance. Pendulum. One word, describing how the music lingers in my mind, back and forth, side to side on all axises of my sophisticated and spiraling neuro-netwoks in this rigid little brain of mine. The whole playlist just kept on repeating it self as one of the function provided in Winamp, is to repeat the playlist provided. Even so frequently the same song keep popping up, I myself find it hard to touch the playlist as it is so inviting and relentlessly pleasing my restless sense. With deep kicks of the bass drum, the fat bass plucking, weird but brilliant synth experimentation, mad guitar licks and mind-boggling lyrics put through a seriously massive and complicated vocoder and sound effect processing,only the God of Sounds capable in pulling something like it, i maybe wet my self to this fictitious assemble of the future music.

While Rob Swire continues to lead his band of brothers through "9000 Miles" of ear-storm, the sun sets on the horizon of now, mossy roof tiles. Those roof tiles have seen some crazy shits around these neck of the woods. Disputes and angst between neighbors, competing for "who has the biggest and most expensive big-ass front gate", group of underage "rempit" adventures through old and dusty back alley, too young to witness the act these forsaken and damaged youth on a pedophilic sexual experiments, so innocent with a hint of fear and pain, the look on that girl's face while still on her school uniform, ridden by a shameless yet a famous masked rider, concealing his identity when soon, the video hits the net, or maybe worst, just maybe, a homicide or two.Now, the roof tile lingerer stares at my bedroom window, through a thin layer of blue-satin curtains, watching me, as I scribble my syntax accurately, sharing my wisdom, my vision and my thoughts. A first-person's view through my eyes on a third-world capitalization and modernization, consuming the past around me and laying out futures where I sat and paint my own destiny, waiting for a hopefully, happy ending. At least somethings is not damaged or corrupted with this view, the roof tiles ought to smile if the have the lips to do so. Standing ovation even, to this young and humble writer, seeking asylum in his words.

8.34 PM

The end credits of Californication's seasons finale reeks my eyes as it is a good bye from Hank Moody for now. It ended with a beginning to a new adventure where Hank's book "Fucking & Punching" finally been adapted into a movie. Karen & Becca leaving L.A with Ben on a road trip across country. The last scene where Hank leaves the movie set and driving toward a long freeway with the sun, sadly setting down on the horizon, kinda makes my tear gland excretes moist in order to accommodate my sadness thoughts of the show finally coming to an end. Well its not till next year for the new seasons of Califonication to be aired in the U.S. Gonna miss your sick and twisted humors, Hank. Have a safe journey.

Then suddenly the Prayer Call echoes in the distance, pulling me out of my bed. Its dark outside, and the neighbor behind my house already turned on their lights. I think I'm the one living in darkness. I dunno why I hesitated to switch on the lights. Its something about the dark and loneliness, the silence, the asylum that I've been looking for. No other sounds linger in my room other than the processor's fan on my old and retired p.c. She used to one of the boldest in my time back in the days. The days where dual core processors and Direct X 9 was the latest. The days when Quake 4 and Doom III was a hit first person shooter that kept me up and awake all night busting my way out of Mars's moon, Phobos and defending earth from Strogg invasion. Yeah, I've always remembered those days. The days when sea water scent, in every hiss of soft sea breeze, touches my face every time I'd take a peek out side the window, overlooking the red twilight sky while the sun is setting down for the day. Its that tree. The one that have our sacred carvings. Our proof that once a upon a time, our love, have touched those grounds, that beach, that place. Will always have a special place in my recovering heart. No one really knows why exactly one smiles just by looking at a tree.

10.17 PM

While busying my self with pleasing my lady with words via instant messaging, my head wonders: do i always this good at writing? Or its only me that felt the greatness in my own vocabulary presentation? One's always tend to self-praised. But for me, that is just pure-pathetic. So I intended to write for public, for my friends, my lady or family. Keeping up my thoughts very publicly available but maintaining my writing style so people would recognize. So as by this moment, I'm planning to write something big. Its too early to call it a novel, and to dark and ominous to call it a short story. Just like the last time i started a joy write called "15" in my past entries. As the description may seems, joy writing, is what it has been. The 4 chapter of damaged youth, suspense and cliffhangers is where i started to see that i can write something. But then, the short story was deleted from my page cause of the irrelevant and way-too-complicated plot, too hairy endings and finding it difficult to continue after each chapter end with a cliffhanger. Its all about lack of planning, and the idea changes every time I start typing a new chapter.

So that's the end of "15". To who ever find it amusing to read those, I'd promise you, I'll re-write it back in a more constructed way. Now is the time for me to start on a new project, and yes, from the start of this entry, I've been picking my own brains and go through some ideas for a new story. And at this last paragraph, i finally compiled my ideas and sketches and ready to hit the papers. This new project of mine shall not be on any page of this blog, not till I'm done actually. Off to the papers!